Chiron has finally reached 8 Pisces, the degree of my midheaven (though it won’t exact for another ten days) for the third and final time in ten astonishing months, now decelerating to spend the next many years lingering through Neptune’s Dreamworld a.k.a. my 10th house. The examination of Chiron’s transit through my houses was an important step in my processing of the past (non-dwelling, active in a meaningful way that produces overstanding and awakening) and is helping me integrate my history into my awakened self so nothing is left unconscious.
I stated that Chiron is done slamming the hammer of depression down on me, the one he uses to carve delusion away from our souls. His retrograde transit over my MC represents an astonishing series of turning points, the shedding of life long depression and the skyrocketing of my rising consciousness. Looking back to the first two transits (totally unknown to me at the time) has helped me to focus and prepare for the next stage of my awakening……….
Chiron’s first exact hit to my MC:April 25th 2012.
I have broken the chart for this day into two charts, exact same moment, but two totally separate and distinct things going on:
First, a jaw-dropping exact grand cardinal square of Pluto, Mercury, Promemtheus, and my natal Moon at 9 Libra. Chiron actually stabilizing Pluto (rising) and generally supporting the entire structure. This was a very Male square, surrounding, what was at that time, my poisoned Yin (Moon). Meanwhile the Moon conjuncted Venus. I felt the gendered polarity of the Gods and Goddesses, it threw my dysfunctional life into a different light, and I was longing for a place to balance, a place of quiet, a place of healing away from my home that was brimming with dangerously deranged Yang.
Chiron opposite Mars and Psyche (my natal Mars and Psyche are perfect sextile, Psyche conjunct my Ascendant, Mars conjunct my Sun). Chiron empowered me to take action in the world that would result in self-realization. (for reference, I’m including the opposition on the 2nd chart…)
A portal. One of many I would see in 2012. My wounded, weak natal Moon in Libra was positioned behind the square from Mars/Psyche to Juno, conjunct the north node and the Part of Fortune. WOW. I had been trying, desperately, almost aimlessly/helplessly at the time, to continue to survive and maintain sanity in a verbally abusive and highly psychologically violent relationship. This square dissolved the boundaries that prevented me from seeking a safe place outside of my home. Doing this was the first conscious step of my journey. Successfully claiming safe space drew my Yin down the trines and my life force was charged with transformational, loving, healing energy from Ur, and Sun conjunct Ceres. The goalposts at the culmination of the portal: Athena sextile Circe and Sedna- a powerful tool for concocting a spell of transformation, and most amazingly of all- just like the day Ur was on my MC in 2005, VESTA 27 ARIES, EXACT ON MY NATAL SUN, AGAIN, showing me that “none but ourselves can free our minds.” VESTA!!! This is the type of thing that makes me really baffled that there are still some people that think there’s nothing to astrology… (Direct those folks to this page, please. Ask them to explain why Vesta is always at 27 Aries when I have major once-in-a-lifetime transits to my midheaven, and why this happens at the times that I woke up to a major spiritual truth about myself as an individual. E-mail your explanations toDiaHollyHemlock@gmail.com. Thanks.)
By the time Chiron stationed retrograde and returned for a second hit my abuser was gone, I had risen up to take previously unthinkable action- actions that pretty much destroyed everything I had built in my life up to that point, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make because I recognized that I had built this abusive environment by submitting to lies, little by little until it was out of control, believing lies about myself that I no longer believed. For the first time I was free, I was in the truth, but in many ways the journey had just begun
In the past, I have written about August 2012 as the time that I “receieved a call from the Sequoias.” I had a totally inexplicable urge to go camping and see the Giant Sequoias, when I had a two-and-a-half year old girl, had not been camping in years (and never by myself for that matter). It didn’t matter to me. I. Was. Supposed. To. Be with these Giant Sequoias, and there was nothing else in my mind. This otherworldly week-long camping trip hit my soul’s reset button, I don’t know how else to say it. When I came down from the mountain I was a new person. I had written that my reality tunnel narrowed and led me to a wormhole, and my passage through resulted in rapidly accelerated spiritual evolution. This was Chiron’s retrograde backwards over my MC, exact on July 30th, 2012.
I mean obviously let’s talk about Pluto sextile Chiron in a YOD TO THE SUN, ON MY NORTH NODE, WHAT. Pluto square Ur, Ur trine the Sun! There’s your fucking reset button right there!
Sun, Mercury, and Prometheus in a broad fire trine to Ur conjunct Athena, square Pluto… this Yod was nothing less than a call to evolution, and pointed directly at my north node, it was all I could hear. Sextiled by Vesta and Jupiter (in my rising sign with Ceres, Venus, and Ariadne) I found my way out of the dark, and I was rearranging the world as I know it to make room for the new me.
There is a very interesting lampshade shape, based on the Ur-Jupiter sextile and Pluto square Ur. Over at 8-9 Virgo, the part of fortune and the “fated events” vertex is perfectly postioned in geometrical symmetry… the spot exactly opposite Chiron at the point of my midheaven. Poetry. It absolutely, 100% was my destiny to go on that trip.
Neptune square the north node is also epic. I seem to constantly need reminding that squares are not always, not necessarily difficult or bad experiences, but the opportunity to dissolve energy blocks (if I am not conscious of the issue, I just experience the energy block). Neptune in square to the north node dissolved whatever might have been inside of me, that was preventing me from fully acknowledging the importance of the dream world on my life’s path. Some people go their whole lives without acknowledging Neptune at all, whereas in my youth I acknowledged Neptune, even loved Neptune, but was bound by the lies of a reality where Neptune energies, high as well as low, are in poor taste at best. In the Sequoias I was initiated into a state of devotion to Neptune and the expression of my life force will never be stunted that way again.
Now, short of summarizing the epic insanity of the last six months, I will just fast forward and say that my daughter and I are safe, we live in peace, in fresh air and freedom, and as February begins, I am planning my garden- another physical interaction between my self and the world that will advance my healing, body and soul, another springboard to spiritual evolution.
Chiron is at 8.00 Pisces as of today and will reach exactness (8.42) on February 17th.
Here’s both charts:
All the outer planets united, in a chain, a cradle- Saturn sextile Pluto square Ur sextile Jupiter… Chiron is square Jupiter, mirrored by Venus’s building square to Saturn. And this is al totally symmetrically synchronized in this moment with North Node conjunct Psyche(natal Psyche on my Ascendant) square Eros (natal Eros CONJUNCT MY MIDHEAVEN… note part of fortune exact on Eros…) in T-square to Sedna exact on the south node. And if all that symmetry wasn’t enough, parallel to Pluto square Ur and the nodal axis, Moon at 27 Sag exact trine to my natal Sun. There is always a personal touch! (Oh, and Venus at 5 Aquarius is my natal Sekhmet, my mom’s natal Venus, grandma’s Theodora, great-grandma’s… no I’m not kidding, my line of maternal great-grandmothers all have something epic at 5 Aquarius, as far back as I have reliable records…)
I have been reading different versions and interpretations of the myth of Psyche and Eros, and chewing on what it means to me personally (Eros exact on my Midheaven, Psyche rising) Goddess Sedna has made herself known to me in the past couple of weeks and her presence on the south node is unspeakably transformative. I will spend a lot of time meditating on this T-square, literally cradled by the outer planets, and… as I am typing this I am realizing that it forms a near-perfect grand square to my natal VESTA. VESTA!!!
Like I said, I know the next stage of my awakening is in the garden, but there is still so much that is nebulous in my mind. My intentions are focused- I know that little else is under my direct control. Time will tell the exact nature of the portal being opened today, meanwhile, I have an anchor for my faith.
The blue lines are the air trines… there is a huge Gemini-Aquarius thing going on long term lately, with everything forming grand trines to my natal Moon and natal Pluto.
Today’s intensity was at a weird pitch. Meanwhile, over the last three days my workouts have morphed into a hardcore strength training regimen… so, although I am becoming increasingly aware of the motherhood-type things that are totally out of my control, leading to odd peaks of exasperation, my motivation and self-discipline are on the upswing, if not an all time high.
So where is this going?
Chiron arrives at 8.42 Pisces at the exact moment of daybreak, February 17th, 2013. The Sun, at 29 Aquarius, will be in perfect trine to my Ascendant (and sextile my natal Sun/Venus) and square the Moon conjunct part of fortune- lucky quarter Moon in Taurus. (please note the part of fortune features in an exact or one-degree conjunction to something pertinent on every chart in this study.) The cradle of the outer planets, rocking from the bough of the nodal axis is the only configuration, Chiron’s only aspect is a square to Jupiter- everybody in Pisces and Gemini, mutable signs. Chiron may not have a ton of aspects but joining him in Pisces at this moment, Eros (at zero point), Neptune, Mars, Mercury, and finally Goddess Sekhmet, at 29.53 Pisces.
This is Dawn. Yawning, ambiguous. On the brink.
There are so many things I love about this chart. The lucky Moon at 27(!) Taurus at the very base of the chart, north node at the highest height. I love Goddess Sekhmet poised to plunge into Aries. I like Mars trine Saturn. The Sun is conjuncting the Moon of someone I really love (illuminating his Moon aspects to my natal Sun/Venus and AC), LET ALONE how amazing it is that Chiron reaches 8.42 Pisces at DAWN. LITERALLY DAWN.
This journal entry was originally published February 6th, 2013.
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