September 8th, 2014, Full Moon conjunct Chiron in Pisces. This post is so belated because this week I finally confirmed that my difficulty communicating with my four year old daughter is because she is autistic. It was just that kind of a bitch of a full moon. Illuminating. Brutal. Relief. Grief.
I’m sharing my story because it fits this full moon so perfectly. At her screening/evaluation on the day of the full moon, we decided to begin the series of tests that will identify where she is on the autism spectrum. In the last year and a half, her ability to connect and have a conversation has not developed in any meaningful way- although her vocabulary has improved normally. When she was three I began to notice she was falling behind other kids in her ability to speak directly to someone, express her thoughts, listen, and have conversation. I accepted that I was going to have issues connecting with her and encouraging her development, because the first half of her life was marked by abuse. Her father was emotionally abusive to me, and after he got me pregnant(which I realize now was his way to trap me at a time he was vulnerable to being dumped) I believed he would change his ways and we would be a happy family. But after I got pregnant his abuse became emotional, physical, financial, and sexual. He physically abused the baby and screamed at me calling me names in front of her, often ranting for over an hour. So I accepted that my relationship with my daughter is going to be difficult probably forever because of the circumstances of her creation, her barriers to communication are a result of the abuse, and I would have to work hard every day of my life to get through to my little girl. Finding out she qualifies to be labeled autistic has shattered me. The reason it’s so hard for me to communicate with my daughter is NOT my fault for creating her with an abusive partner, it is NOT my fault for staying in the abusive relationship after she was born, and maybe, just maybe, it’s not my task to try and change her into someone who communicates the way I (and most other people) communicate. Illuminating. Brutal. Relief. Grief. Letting go and sinking down into the deep of my own subconscious childhood memories of not being able to communicate, and how the frustration between myself and my parents shaped my life story… Shattered. This is the power of the Full Moon conjunct the Wounded Healer in the realm of subconscious revelation. Let’s examine the chart.
Moon and Chiron in Pisces opposite the Sun at 16 Virgo. The Moon, at 16 Pisces, formed an exact grand water trine with Juno 16 Cancer and Vesta 16 Scorpio (Vesta leading the chorus of goddess asteroids transiting through Scorpio in Mars’s wake). In the subconscious waters of Pisces, the full Moon reflects the light from the Virgo Sun. Juno in Cancer is about self-care, with emphasis on the body here as Hygieia is Juno’s companion in the sign of the crab. Vesta in Scorpio feels like righteous self-destruction, like the removal of tonsils or appendix- metaphorically- leave the body stuff to Juno and Hygieia- Vesta, along with Sekhmet, Ceres, and Hekate approaching Saturn in Scorpio are encouraging us to spiritually and mentally remove or destroy the parts of ourselves that are not serving the highest expression of your life force and/or are standing in the way of your true life path. So this full moon grand water trine is about emotional cleansing, physical health, and letting go… it can feel like the experience of a surgery-a period of preparation, submission to healing, and recovery- Or, if we fight this process, it will feel like a battlefield amputation…
Sun sextile Vesta forms a yod triangle pointing to Uranus in Aries, who is now close enough to the transiting south node to be considered conjunct, as Athena and Mercury begin to approach the north node in Libra. The lunar nodes are therefore in place to direct the power of this yod to the unfoldment of our karma. The south node has transited Eris and will soon cross Uranus, charging the energies of our karmic load with the opportunity for radical, life-path-altering revolution. All bets are off and if we wish to leave something in the past that has its claws sunk into us, you may realize those claws have nothing to hang onto any more in the aftermath of this full moon. Athena crossing the north node in Libra charges the energies of karmic forward momentum with wisdom, and as Mercury transits past them, we can choose to focus our thoughts on the wisdom that will allow us to break our karmic patterns and evolve.
During the Pisces Full Moon, the Sun made an X-class solar flare, the first since the three X-flares that happened during the Sagittarius Full Moon in June. This X-flare was like a firehose pointed straight at Earth. Changes in the magnetosphere were detected immediately and on the afternoon of July 12th, impact arrived and geomagnetic storming began. These changes in our bodies and consciousness are supported, and exist in Unity with Gaia and our Star.